Maybe it’s because I have a teensy bit of alcohol in me, but it’s finally starting to hit. Leaving tomorrow morning (technically today) and not seeing these people for a while, if not ever, really is going to suck.
I’ve made amazing friends this last semester. One that I’ve known for a while and just got closer to and one that has become one of my absolute best friends in a very short period of time. She is one of those people who deserves the absolute best out of life and even though I was a terrible friend and selfish for a while, I got exactly what I deserved and now she’s happy, which is exactly how it should be.
But then there’s all these friends that I’ll possibly never see again. And I just started to really get to know them recently. (Probably because of my stubbornness and anti-social thing and lack of emotions.) But still, I start to see more than ever that I could have learned so much from them. They could have been amazing friends, but I passed up the opportunity and now the moment is gone.
I’m not looking forward to going home, at all. Other than seeing my family, “home” isn’t where I want to be. I want to be around people more like me. People I aspire to learn from and grow with. That’s here, not back “home.” Other than my close family, what do I have at home? People without dreams and aspirations. People who won’t stop reminding me of my mistakes. People who blame me for something I had no control over. And most of all, a person who deserves the absolute best, and what he has is me. He deserves better. But I’m trying my best. After all, love is a decision, not a feeling, right? eh. whatever.
Point is: summer has begun. And while tonight was a great start to it, it was definitely bittersweet. So here’s to trying my best to not miss any more opportunities or take anything for granted. I gotta keep looking down and reminding myself that everything must be done with all your heart or not at all.
math just got important
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
|—||Peyton Sawyer (via allthingsoldandtragic)|